Totality
I'm not a Zen Buddhist or anything, but my idea of "totality" comes from there; the idea of bringing my "totality" to whatever I'm doing, whether what I'm doing is fun or not fun. That way, I know I'll be present, I won't be missing the "small things" (which usually wind up being my favorite things), and I will be less likely to judge people, and -- most importantly, if I'm doing something that's not fun -- I'm much more likely to keep my energy a matching point to what I prefer to keep attracting in my life. (By "energy" I don't mean having the strength to do something, I mean the overall vibration I'm emitting.)
Yesterday, Sunday -- a most spectacular day, weather-wise, by anyone's standards -- I sort of reluctantly agreed to do a job for a couple of guys in a town about 25 miles from here. Something told me it was going to be one of those not fun jobs, but they really needed my help and it would be a little extra money for me.
Since I knew it was likely to be not fun, I made extra-special sure to bring the totality of myself to the job; be really present; remind myself of the higher goal (which for me is always to keep my energy a matching point to what I want to keep attracting in my life).
The guys were super nice, super young, very respectful (a bit of a language barrier since they are foreign) but it really was a not fun job from start to finish. I was there twice as long, which meant the entire beautiful Sunday was pretty much shot when I left there. But I also made twice as much money as I'd been expecting. So it went from being a day where I was going to help these guys out for a couple hours, to being a bonafide work day (money-wise, energy-wise, stamina-wise -- you name it.)
The best part of yesterday? It's over. But that wasn't the real point I wanted to make here. The point is more about dreams.
Since Bill's gone back to California, I've gotten back to the notes for the book I'm writing (currently titled: At the Edge of God; it's a spiritual manifesto). A large part of the book work involves keeping track of my dreams at night and writing them down in my dream journal. Well, yesterday, while I did do some meditation in the evening, I was just too tired and unmotivated to do yoga. Yoga almost always helps me dissociate myself from whatever I've done during the day (fun or not fun) and it puts me back in touch with my creative side.
I knew that by not doing yoga, I ran the risk of holding onto the day's 'work' energy and repeating it over & over in my dreams. I decided to risk it, but that's exactly what happened; all night long. Even though the dreams were full of symbolism and, I'm guessing, chock full of all sorts of beneficial insights for me, I found them really annoying. When I awoke at 5 AM, I absolutely refused to write any of the dreams down. I had no interest whatsoever in having yesterday live on...even if it does live on with its own inalienable energy regardless of me, you know? I refused to consciously participate!!
So there.
But I did lie in the dark for about an hour and contemplate what that might mean in the scope of dreams; does it mean I'm simply releasing it to the dream reality, to just sort of float off on its own? I'm guessing "yes & no." I'm guessing there's a part of me that takes whatever it needs from any dream, whether or not I process it consciously -- and then we all move on; people as well as dreams. But the idea of the dream work in the first place is to expand the "totality" of the consciousness I bring to my waking world. Well, I guess part of what I bring to the waking world is a certain petulance in regards to dreams that bore me! (I'm not someone who is accustomed to being bored so on the rare occasion that I am bored, it really annoys me, awake or asleep.)
All righty!
So almost the minute the sun came out in New York yesterday, everyone I know there emailed me to say that everyone was fine. Even Valerie's little stray feral kitten, Oreo, who refused to come into the house so she built him a little shelter in the backyard -- he was also fine. So that was a relief. The sun is shining there again. And on we go, gang!
I hope you have a productive, non-boring, non-irritating, good-energy, super- sunny Monday, wherever you are, gang! And thanks for visiting! See ya!
[With any luck, this is a photo of you today!! Go get 'em, little tigers!!]
Yesterday, Sunday -- a most spectacular day, weather-wise, by anyone's standards -- I sort of reluctantly agreed to do a job for a couple of guys in a town about 25 miles from here. Something told me it was going to be one of those not fun jobs, but they really needed my help and it would be a little extra money for me.
Since I knew it was likely to be not fun, I made extra-special sure to bring the totality of myself to the job; be really present; remind myself of the higher goal (which for me is always to keep my energy a matching point to what I want to keep attracting in my life).
The guys were super nice, super young, very respectful (a bit of a language barrier since they are foreign) but it really was a not fun job from start to finish. I was there twice as long, which meant the entire beautiful Sunday was pretty much shot when I left there. But I also made twice as much money as I'd been expecting. So it went from being a day where I was going to help these guys out for a couple hours, to being a bonafide work day (money-wise, energy-wise, stamina-wise -- you name it.)
The best part of yesterday? It's over. But that wasn't the real point I wanted to make here. The point is more about dreams.
Since Bill's gone back to California, I've gotten back to the notes for the book I'm writing (currently titled: At the Edge of God; it's a spiritual manifesto). A large part of the book work involves keeping track of my dreams at night and writing them down in my dream journal. Well, yesterday, while I did do some meditation in the evening, I was just too tired and unmotivated to do yoga. Yoga almost always helps me dissociate myself from whatever I've done during the day (fun or not fun) and it puts me back in touch with my creative side.
I knew that by not doing yoga, I ran the risk of holding onto the day's 'work' energy and repeating it over & over in my dreams. I decided to risk it, but that's exactly what happened; all night long. Even though the dreams were full of symbolism and, I'm guessing, chock full of all sorts of beneficial insights for me, I found them really annoying. When I awoke at 5 AM, I absolutely refused to write any of the dreams down. I had no interest whatsoever in having yesterday live on...even if it does live on with its own inalienable energy regardless of me, you know? I refused to consciously participate!!
So there.
But I did lie in the dark for about an hour and contemplate what that might mean in the scope of dreams; does it mean I'm simply releasing it to the dream reality, to just sort of float off on its own? I'm guessing "yes & no." I'm guessing there's a part of me that takes whatever it needs from any dream, whether or not I process it consciously -- and then we all move on; people as well as dreams. But the idea of the dream work in the first place is to expand the "totality" of the consciousness I bring to my waking world. Well, I guess part of what I bring to the waking world is a certain petulance in regards to dreams that bore me! (I'm not someone who is accustomed to being bored so on the rare occasion that I am bored, it really annoys me, awake or asleep.)
All righty!
So almost the minute the sun came out in New York yesterday, everyone I know there emailed me to say that everyone was fine. Even Valerie's little stray feral kitten, Oreo, who refused to come into the house so she built him a little shelter in the backyard -- he was also fine. So that was a relief. The sun is shining there again. And on we go, gang!
I hope you have a productive, non-boring, non-irritating, good-energy, super- sunny Monday, wherever you are, gang! And thanks for visiting! See ya!
[With any luck, this is a photo of you today!! Go get 'em, little tigers!!]
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