All righty!!
It's as clean as clean can be around here, gang! And it feels fantastic.
The downside of course, though, is that once Bill actually arrives, I will forbid him to move around at all or to touch anything. He can talk all he wants, I don't have a problem with that, but he'll have to simply pick a place to sit down and then just stay perfectly still for the duration. I want to keep everything looking perfect!!
Alas, just kidding. The cats pretty much take care of that "perfect" business almost immediately upon completion of the cleaning-perfection. But, gosh, a totally clean house feels so energizing. And it is SUPER clean in here. Seriously. You could literally eat off my kitchen floor, it's that clean -- but please don't do that!! I'll only have to clean it again...
On another note.
You know what's sad? How all the stores around here already have their back-to-school stuff out! These poor kids! Jesus Christ. It's the shank of the summer and already they have to be reminded that "school" is looming large on their horizon. Back in the olden days, we never had back-to-school stuff in the stores until about a week before school started. Plus, school starts a lot earlier now then it did when I was young. We never started before Labor Day. Around here, all the schools start well before Labor Day. It's criminal. Summer really is almost over for them.
The good news, though???? In order to make room for all that horrifying back-to-school stuff, all the PICNIC and COOKOUT stuff is on clearance!! Yay!! And I mean clearance -- 99 cents, or a $1.29. Stuff like that. The highest-priced thing I saw was a snazzy plastic pitcher for $4. It's like the most enormous windfall for me because my summer is just getting started, gang. And even though my stalwart cousin and her husband will be in Russia for most of the summer, I still plan on having picnic after picnic after picnic around here, even if it's just me and the birds and squirrels and bunnies and chipmunks and raccoons and skunks and badgers and groundhogs. (This is assuming that the constant picnicking wears thin on Bill almost immediately...)
I don't know what it is about me and picnics, but I just fucking love them. I always have. (Well, this could be a clue; it's from the introduction to this great little picnic-recipe book that Mercedes Benz published about 20 years ago: "Going on picnics is like falling in love. Serene, delicious, wholesome, intimate, unpredictable.... The air is fresh and the appetite is stimulated. Expectations mount as the basket is unpacked.") (That said, however -- I don't know about you, but whenever I've fallen in love "wholesome" has never topped my list of things that were going on.) (Okay, I just spoiled the wholesome mood! Sorry!!)
Well, in any event. Just as a precaution, I placed an ad on craigslist for a family to be on-call all summer long as a stand-in -- as understudies, as it were -- for my own family in the event that everyone gets tired of picnicking around here except me. Thank you, craigslist, because I found the perfect family!! And they can start immediately. I'm so excited!!
[My wholesome, delicious stand-in picnic family!!]
The downside of course, though, is that once Bill actually arrives, I will forbid him to move around at all or to touch anything. He can talk all he wants, I don't have a problem with that, but he'll have to simply pick a place to sit down and then just stay perfectly still for the duration. I want to keep everything looking perfect!!
Alas, just kidding. The cats pretty much take care of that "perfect" business almost immediately upon completion of the cleaning-perfection. But, gosh, a totally clean house feels so energizing. And it is SUPER clean in here. Seriously. You could literally eat off my kitchen floor, it's that clean -- but please don't do that!! I'll only have to clean it again...
On another note.
You know what's sad? How all the stores around here already have their back-to-school stuff out! These poor kids! Jesus Christ. It's the shank of the summer and already they have to be reminded that "school" is looming large on their horizon. Back in the olden days, we never had back-to-school stuff in the stores until about a week before school started. Plus, school starts a lot earlier now then it did when I was young. We never started before Labor Day. Around here, all the schools start well before Labor Day. It's criminal. Summer really is almost over for them.
The good news, though???? In order to make room for all that horrifying back-to-school stuff, all the PICNIC and COOKOUT stuff is on clearance!! Yay!! And I mean clearance -- 99 cents, or a $1.29. Stuff like that. The highest-priced thing I saw was a snazzy plastic pitcher for $4. It's like the most enormous windfall for me because my summer is just getting started, gang. And even though my stalwart cousin and her husband will be in Russia for most of the summer, I still plan on having picnic after picnic after picnic around here, even if it's just me and the birds and squirrels and bunnies and chipmunks and raccoons and skunks and badgers and groundhogs. (This is assuming that the constant picnicking wears thin on Bill almost immediately...)
I don't know what it is about me and picnics, but I just fucking love them. I always have. (Well, this could be a clue; it's from the introduction to this great little picnic-recipe book that Mercedes Benz published about 20 years ago: "Going on picnics is like falling in love. Serene, delicious, wholesome, intimate, unpredictable.... The air is fresh and the appetite is stimulated. Expectations mount as the basket is unpacked.") (That said, however -- I don't know about you, but whenever I've fallen in love "wholesome" has never topped my list of things that were going on.) (Okay, I just spoiled the wholesome mood! Sorry!!)
Well, in any event. Just as a precaution, I placed an ad on craigslist for a family to be on-call all summer long as a stand-in -- as understudies, as it were -- for my own family in the event that everyone gets tired of picnicking around here except me. Thank you, craigslist, because I found the perfect family!! And they can start immediately. I'm so excited!!
[My wholesome, delicious stand-in picnic family!!]
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