(This is related to my closing note about Eddie Van Halen in the post below.)

I really believe in life ropes, gang; I really, really do.

Mostly, it's people who are very famous that we see coming apart so horrifically at the seams -- Charlie Sheen, as usual; and again that girl I always was so fond of -- Lindsay Lohan. I realize that people, famous or not, have to make their own choices and have to choose their own paths. But still, you know? We're all just going to watch as people go up in flames b/c they're "making their own choices"?

Do we want them to do themselves in -- whether figuratively or literally -- so that they can get out of the way of the next new & upcoming disaster for us to watch? Does this really make us feel better about ourselves? To know that some people are suffering so much that they've slipped beyond our reach? And if these people weren't famous we probably wouldn't enjoy their demise at all, would we? We'd more likely feel compassion. But famous people, by the very nature of their fame, make some of us feel somehow deprived of our own happiness or financial fulfillment  or what have you, so most of us stand back & watch; wanting to see them fall from grace.

Jesus, I just feel like if we collectively, as a society, could put as much effort into trying to help people get a glimpse of a healthier more powerful path, as we put into watching them self-destruct, it might actually do some good somewhere.

I know -- it's not going to happen. I'm not seriously "on a crusade" to make society more compassionate, but it does really frustrate me.

Back when I  was in the mental hospital in 1975, I was easily at the nadar of my existence. In the 10 months prior to my confinement there, I'd gotten arrested, then the boy I loved was killed in a motorcycle crash, then I was raped, then I had a nervous breakdown, then I was involved in an ugly custody fight between my parents wherein I moved 3 times and had to attend 3 different schools, then I attempted suicide -- 10 months.

The one nice thing about having had a serious drug problem throughout all that is that while I was in the mental hospital, they kept me off of all medications. I was completely sober, lucid, aware of everything that happened for the 5 months I was confined in that place. (Which will only enhance my memoir, I'm sure!) And close to the end of my confinement there, a new staff member arrived (usually regarded as jailers or wardens, not people you would ever seek out for help). He was from New York City and had been a minister. He wasn't de-frocked, or anything, he just wasn't practicing as a minister anymore.

He took me aside one day and said, "I want to tell you something, but I could get in trouble for saying this to you so please just keep this between us."

Trust me, that never happened between the staff and the patients: we were always on virulently opposing sides. So he had my attention. He said, "You don't have to listen to what anybody says around here and you don't have to be stuck in this place. You don't have to be depressed. You can choose to think differently about everything. When you find yourself thinking a thought that makes you feel bad, choose to think a thought that makes you feel good. Your mind is very powerful. Try it. You don't have to be stuck here."

A life rope, gang. You have no idea how it felt. Someone I didn't even know, someone I was inclined to distrust, actually gave a shit about whether or not I was going to survive myself.

I never forgot what he said to me. My life didn't get instantly better, but I did instantly discover that what he said was true: I could choose to think a different thought and feel better immediately. Of course, now it's the creed I live by: we create our own realities by being mindful of the thoughts we choose to think. But my point is the life rope itself.

It really saddens me that most people would just rather watch TV.