It never got better
although, I tried really hard. I even made a pot of chili, which is always great to have on the stove on a gorgeous fall day, isn't it? Yes, it is.
And yet the depression still reigned supreme today. Maybe it's just burn-out. I don't know. I've been keeping at a super-charged pace the entire year. Plus the new short piece I'm working on takes place in NYC in 1995 and that was such an intense, difficult year for me on so many levels. I even found myself wanting to smoke a cigarette today! Something I did quite frequently in 1995, but haven't done in many years now. So maybe, on some psychic level, I'm stuck in 1995.
It's such a typical fall evening out there right now that I might just pour a glass of cabernet and go sit outside in the backyard until it gets too dark to see. Just call it a day, as it were, and try again tomorrow. The backyard is so incredibly lovely right now with the enormous maple tree sailing its leaves down all over the yard. I have 2 baby squirrels, as well. They've been such a treat to watch. (In preparation for my "senior prom date" coming to live with me soon, I've moved my office to the very back of the house into my sunroom, which is all windows from pretty much floor to ceiling. I can watch the squirrels & birds & chipmonks, and rabbits, and groundhogs all day long. It is so cool.) You're probably wondering how I can possibly find it in myself to be depressed on top of all this easy, anonymous living, aren't you?
It is weird, isn't it? And yet I find myself depressed. Well, onward.
And on the ego front... loyal readers of this lofty blog will no doubt recall that there were 2 new copies of the first edition of Neptune & Surf floating around out there with a price tag of over $138 each; both those books sold. Is that stupefying, or what? And now there is a brand new copy of Lust selling in Germany for 146 Euros -- which is close to $300 US dollars. And that's a book you can buy brand new anywhere. Although this particular one is probably signed. I just find this all so weird. It really is just stupefying.
On that note, though, I think I'll go off and get that glass of wine and go sit on my back porch and dream for awhile. Tomorrow has simply got to get better. It's got to; I have too much work I have to get finished ASAP. Have a good night, gang, wherever you are and sleep the sleep of angels. A bien tot.
And yet the depression still reigned supreme today. Maybe it's just burn-out. I don't know. I've been keeping at a super-charged pace the entire year. Plus the new short piece I'm working on takes place in NYC in 1995 and that was such an intense, difficult year for me on so many levels. I even found myself wanting to smoke a cigarette today! Something I did quite frequently in 1995, but haven't done in many years now. So maybe, on some psychic level, I'm stuck in 1995.
It's such a typical fall evening out there right now that I might just pour a glass of cabernet and go sit outside in the backyard until it gets too dark to see. Just call it a day, as it were, and try again tomorrow. The backyard is so incredibly lovely right now with the enormous maple tree sailing its leaves down all over the yard. I have 2 baby squirrels, as well. They've been such a treat to watch. (In preparation for my "senior prom date" coming to live with me soon, I've moved my office to the very back of the house into my sunroom, which is all windows from pretty much floor to ceiling. I can watch the squirrels & birds & chipmonks, and rabbits, and groundhogs all day long. It is so cool.) You're probably wondering how I can possibly find it in myself to be depressed on top of all this easy, anonymous living, aren't you?
It is weird, isn't it? And yet I find myself depressed. Well, onward.
And on the ego front... loyal readers of this lofty blog will no doubt recall that there were 2 new copies of the first edition of Neptune & Surf floating around out there with a price tag of over $138 each; both those books sold. Is that stupefying, or what? And now there is a brand new copy of Lust selling in Germany for 146 Euros -- which is close to $300 US dollars. And that's a book you can buy brand new anywhere. Although this particular one is probably signed. I just find this all so weird. It really is just stupefying.
On that note, though, I think I'll go off and get that glass of wine and go sit on my back porch and dream for awhile. Tomorrow has simply got to get better. It's got to; I have too much work I have to get finished ASAP. Have a good night, gang, wherever you are and sleep the sleep of angels. A bien tot.
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